Sunday, December 30, 2012

Who's The Big Baby?

I am blessed beyond measure, and there are so many reasons why I was so close to not having what I have today. Caleb was so early, that if he'd been born 50 years ago or in a country with less fancy medical care, he would be dead. During my pregnancy, I had low progesterone, and required supplements in order to keep him around and growing. The previous pregnancy wasn't so lucky. How did I convince RB to marry me? And move to Austin? And love me when I was going through the mental torment that was getting divorced? And it keeps going. But mostly, my days are just stuffed full of feelings of overwhelming thankfulness that all those turns came together to give me what I have today.

And so, I've become that person that cries at the drop of a hat. Movies that used to make me reflect now make me boo-hoo all over the place. I rewatched the last Harry Potter movie recently, and the whole Snape retrospective just made me bawl my eyes out. The heartwarming stories in an issue of Reader's Digest cause me to tear up. And then, most recently, I was rocking Caleb to sleep with some music on a random setting, and "Puff, the Magic Dragon" queued up. If you haven't heard this song before, here it is for you:
So, in the third verse, after Puff and Jackie Paper have been having a frolicky good time for years, Jackie no longer has the time or imagination for Puff.
A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.
And that verse just got to me. The idea that a little boy would grow up and cease to care about his dragon and that dragon would lose his will to be dragon-like? Heartbreaking. My little Caleb will grow up to not have time or interest in his momma and this perfect family we've got going on here? No way. Can't even imagine that.

1 comment:

Doing My Best said...

The Snape retrospective always makes me cry too! He had such a miserable, lonely life =(.