My husband and I have gone to Mexico for a friend's wedding. I very seldom make him go to anything, but this was one of those things that I told him wasn't optional -- he was coming to this wedding. He is a bit of a hermit (or homebody if you feel that is a nicer term), and really doesn't like to go out much. I, on the otherhand, start to feel stir-crazy if I'm home too many nights in a week. For the first couple of years we were married, I tried to go out only when he wanted to. And then I started to resent him with all the invitations we turned down (and subsequently stopped receiving). So, somewhere along the line I realized it was okay for me to go out without him when an invitation came up for something that interested me. I didn't really realize how often I did this until we arrived in Mexico.
The bride-to-be's sister met my husband and I in the hotel lobby with a gaggle of other folks. Later, the bride relayed her comment to me: "How serious is Heather with that guy?" Nearly eight years of marriage later, I guess we're pretty serious.
Most other couples are referred to by both their names -- The Guy and The Girl (order generally depending on which of them you knew first, or better). When people talk about inviting us to things, they say "Heather, you wanna come? Oh, and if your husband wants to come too, that's fine." He's the afterthought. I don't want him to be the afterthought, but I don't want to wait and only leave the house the 2 times a year he feels like it, either.
The Monk of Mokha by Dave Eggers
3 months ago