I know, I know -- I've only just barely been gone from Austin, and I'm already back for a visit? Well, it's true. I can't help it if I still work for a company based in Austin (we had a work retreat this past weekend) and if my best friend decided to still have her baby here where she lives (silly people having babies in the town they live in).
So, I'm back for a week and a half, and it's been interesting. I haven't really missed Austin -- I've missed seeing people I love, but not really the city. Coming back didn't really feel like I was coming home -- I really feel like I'm visiting. I know I don't belong here. I couldn't even bring myself to tell someone to avoid a traffic trap I knew would be there, because maybe it's changed since I left. I've only been gone for six weeks, but it was like I was visiting a town I lived in in elementary school. However, I really don't think it has anything to do with not having liked Austin -- I loved it here. I think, instead, it comes from all the moving I've done growing up, and how easily the concept of "home" shifts for me. Austin just isn't home anymore, regardless of how long it used to hold that moniker.
No judgement, just an attempt at an honest look at my motivations and reactions. I love family and friends, and they make "home" for me -- not the place or the buildings or the restaurants.
However, if they could open a Chuy's in Santa Barbara, I really wouldn't mind. I even promise to act nostalgic when I eat there.
The Monk of Mokha by Dave Eggers
3 months ago